Crap n Flowers

Let’s see...I’m not sure if I should talk about what’s happening to me right now, but I guess is not so bad to open up a little bit ...yeah, just a little bit because I do like to keep some things to my personal self.

SO!, for the last couple of months I have been in a huge rollercoaster of crap n flowers, ups and downs, highs and lows, blacks and whites. Since I turned 18 I’ve cried my ass off, laughed my longs out, been depressed, been happy, and been “I dunno”
I hate that everything has to be so complicated all the time, all the things you have to remember, all the things you have to be responsible for, all the things you have to do and say (or not), and breath, and see (or not), and talk about, and OH MY GOD... having to wake up every Monday and go to work...I mean I like the money (of course I do :D I’m human)
Payday wohoo! But umm…yeah going to work and then coming home and then going to school, and then - well before i sound like the Asian women from "dude where’s my car?" movie- shit!! All I do is work and study.
i mean, yeah sure...you know I do spend time with my friends, and i go shopping...and now I’m reading a very interesting book, and I’m having fun with all of my bros friends and parties, but sometimes all I want to do is daydream. See me out there in a few years doing so much more, and so much better. Even with longer hair :P, and always skinny and with a boyfriend (haha how embarrassing!!), I hope I’m the only one who's life depends on her dreams...its like my only way out of the drama and the real life when it sucks ass.

you know why i like watching Nicole and Paris?, lol, ’cause they are so much full of shit, because they are so plastic and shallow, that it looks like they have no fucking problem at all, and if they ever do, they’d just switch to another man and strike a pose…If only real life would be that simple, my nickname would be J-Lo by now (I’m not talking ass). But life is so hard, and ironic, and stupid, and so good, sometimes I would like to know the answer to everything, and do all the right things. I’m just learning not to get too comfortable, and to let things flow, what is meant to be will be!, and to not punish myself for being me, and let books close and others open.

Its funny how, when I get mad, I forget everything I wrote and say FUCK THE WORLD and punch a wall, but I’m not perfect...